Testimonals

February 2012 Testimony Letters

If you are like me-you’ve arrived at NIM and are tense, scared and even a tad skeptical. Will this make a difference? Are we too far gone? We arrived at NIM on the brink, it could not be any worse. We knew it was so bad we came for 6 days. We knew we needed help if there was to be any way to save a marriage of 29 years. Bottled up grief, misplaced sense of responsibility, misplaced identities, trauma and depression had all created a viscous cycle of each of us saying to the other “if you would just…if you would only” – placing burdens on the other. Today as we pack our bags to return home we have a new and profound outlook of our future. Despair had given way to hope as we learned where safety is, how to share and respect our hearts. To understand what is mine and what is his and what is ours and how important those boundaries are for helping us be more connected. For the first time in over 25 yrs we can share our hearts instead of having walls up. We thank God for our therapists and their wise counsel. We greatly appreciate the environment of a refuge that is here. Our challenge is now to figure out what God would have us do with our new lives. I would say to each of you contemplating coming to NIM, be open to a miracle – our prayers will evermore be with each of you who are coming to NIM in search of healing.

Wow…I will admit that I was a little apprehensive when my wife said she thought we needed to go to Missouri for an intensive marriage counseling program. We had previously been seeing our pastor back home for a few months when he told us he had done all he was able to do with us. When he recommended NIM I realized how serious our situation really was. Although our previous counselor had identified many of the issues in our marriage, we were still unable to address these issues due to immaturity and hard hearts. My wife and I were married very young and had children early in life, so we never really had any time alone together as a married couple. We were both raised in very strict homes and shared the same morals and beliefs; however, we couldn’t seem to agree on anything. It was rather depressing to think that we have only been married for 7 years and we were still in our late 20’s and we couldn’t seem to make things work. We had both realized that we didn’t want to continue living this way, for both ourselves and our two children. Needless to say, NIM was really our only hope to make this marriage succeed. We showed up with open minds and open hearts. We knew we only had a few days here and we wanted to fix ALL of our problems. I have a huge anger problem and any time I get angry I would either lash out or shut down, neither of which moved us in the direction the marriage needed to go. Our counselor was a God send. He never made either of us feel threatened or in the spotlight for our struggles. I was able to learn a lot about myself, and discovered why I tend to respond to my wife the way I do. Our counselor was willing to share much of his background with us and I couldn’t help but cry because I could relate to his story so much. I saw the direction he chose for his life and his marriage and family, and I saw the hope that was still there in my life/marriage. Our counselor had an amazing way of making both my wife and I feel very safe and secure even when discussing sensitive issues. I feel that the safety I felt is what prevented me from my anger and allowed us to get to the heart of the problems. I’m excited to say that my wife and I have discovered how to communicate with our “Heart Talks” and learned to work through our problems. Although we have a long way to go, I can thank NIM for bringing my wife and I back together (even after a rough rocky road following an affair), to point us down the path of a successful and healthy marriage.

Thank you NIM for welcoming us to this beautiful sanctuary. What a blessing the last several days have been. We walked in feeling broken, discouraged, confused, angry and hopeless. Today we are equipped to turn our marriage into a beautiful, healthy, loving, respectful relationship that glorifies God. This would not have been possible without the help of NIM. Your care and heart of service were just what the doctor ordered during this time. As for the therapists, it is vividly apparent this isn’t just a career but a calling. God has gifted each of you to be His hands extended to help heal the broken hearted. We cannot express enough gratitude for all the time, tools and attention you all have equipped us with to work toward a mutually fulfilled relationship.

This is a special place! I watched as my husband found his heart and learned to care for it. I watched as others took the same journey. The Lord hand picked a group – 4 couples – to come together for this season. They all (we all) helped me find the secret to my own heart. I know now that I will be okay forever. Thanks to all of the NIM staff. Everything was perfect – no detail overlooked. I now (because of you) have a visual of how to love, serve, care, and enjoy life the way He always meant it to be, at least here on earth. I will never be the same! A bit of me has been permanently transformed.

I feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to attend NIM. The staff has been amazing! We have felt so welcomed and at peace here. I feel that we were placed with the perfect counselor. We both felt very comfortable and at ease throughout our intensive. As we leave here I know our big work begins. I am thankful for the tools we have been equipped with to more effectively “do life” together. I am also so thankful to be aware of what was really causing our problems.

What a wonderful ministry you have. From the beautiful facility to all of your staff, we felt so cared for and loved. I must admit, I was very skeptical that this could “work” for us and our very damaged marriage. After 2 days with ½ day to go, we have made some significant progress with key breakthroughs. God works here!

God is so faithful! He knew exactly what we needed at the right time in order to heal and restore our marriage. We have struggled for so long and felt so confused over our inability to resolve conflict. The week at NIM was an answer to our prayers and many others that we had asked to pray for us for healing. Thanks to all the NIM staff for being the vessels of God’s love caring for us during our time with you.

Thank you NIM for welcoming us to this amazing place. Gods work is being done here. Miracles are witnessed every week. I arrived afraid, anxious and hopeless. I have been equipped with tools to help me become the whole, healthy woman God wants me to be. Our counselor was a divine appointment. I learned so much about myself, my husband and how to let go of the pain. Nothing is impossible with God, He is able!!!

January 2012

I did not expect to have the course impact me in the manner I was effected. I was really more focused on making sure my spouse “got the help she needed”; there is so much growing ahead.
I had read the information on the website, but after the intensive I realize how wonderful the program is.
This program significantly exceeded my expectations. I came looking for a miracle and found one.
The environment was perfect, comfortable, safe, loving. The tools are perfect for helping couples.
I loved the length of time we were able to dedicate to working with minimal distractions, so valuable.
I liked the structure of this program. The ability to learn about my marriage by taking bits and pieces from other marriages was great!
I was impressed at the impact of being in a group had on me and my husband. I feel like he was able to hear things from others well.
I found such value in learning how to identify my fears and reactions, learning how to care for my heart, and learning the ICU/heart talk method so we can be better understood.
If my children needed this, I would find some way to come up with the money to send them. NIM is on the right track-doing a GREAT job!
This program has amazing insight and facilitation. So Christ centered. I felt as if the content was timed to fit our discussions as topics arose.
This was outstanding! The week in the fabulous accommodations and food and hours of counseling would have cost much more if purchased separately.
I am so grateful for the miracle in our marriage!
Learning how to communicate my feelings to my husband has been so valuable to me.
I found that my innermost heart was hurting over things I didn’t realize I was hurting from. I learned how to care for my own heart and love myself again. I also learned that communicating can be non-threatening.
This program was fantastic! The root causes were addressed, not the symptoms.
I have a great deal of faith and hope my marriage will succeed due to this course. Thank you!
The group setting helped us not feel alone. The professional way things were handled felt safe, and the method of caring for our hearts felt cared for and inspiring.
The method of caring for our hearts instead of being told what is right and wrong in a religious way was such a blessing to me.
This has been very informative and helpful. I learned so much about myself and my partner. The environment was very safe and peaceful and loving.
This experience has been totally eye-opening and real!!!!!
Learning about “The Team of Marriage” – no one wins if both don’t win, was very effective!!!!!
Loved learning how to communicate (same team), Heart Talk.
Being able to listen to the other couples benefited so much.
The process – Fear cycle, Win/Win, Heart Talk is an amazing process that is so simple. Great stuff – even I can do it!
This filled in the gaps in my recovery work that were very frustrating for me.
I didn’t feel pushed at all, and my therapist allowed me to ask for space and leave if I needed to, while he was giving instruction. He made me feel safe in the session
I loved identifying the fears and fear cycle and heart talk methods. So powerful!

We wanted to thank you all for our time at NIM. It was a life changing event for my wife and I, as well as us together. We discuss what we learned everyday. We can't tell you enough of how things have changed for us, personally and with our marriage. Next to our kids being born, it was the greatest 3 days of our lives.

We have told many people about NIM since we have returned; the approach, some ideas of what we learned and the impact on our marriage and family. At some point we would love to discuss bringing you to our town to hold a conference. With our friends we are confident that the issue would not be having enough people, but rather having more demand than supply. There is already much interest in with those that we have spoken.

If you get the chance, let us know a couple of dates of availability and we could start looking down the road. We could advertise at 3 large local churches, which account for around 20,000 attendees in our community, if that was needed. We think we could fill it with our connections.

Again, there is no way we can thank you enough for your help and the huge impact on our marriage. If there is anything we can ever do to help NIM please let us know.