Daddy Day in America

America is about to celebrate the one day a year daddies like us long for, the day we get doted on, pampered, fussed over, hugged on and over fed. I'm one of the lucky ones, a dad who loves his wife with all my heart and feel my buttons get a little snug in the chest when I look at pictures of my kids. Yes, I guess they too are the lucky ones because it's not like that in millions of homes across our fruited Plains.

The statistics are staggering; 72.2% of our population rank "fatherless" homes as the #1 social problem in America, and an estimated 24.7 million children don't have a daddy at home.

Come with me as we explore warm memories of daddy-hood, back in time to when this single-daddy was raising his three kids. I guess you'd say I'm the exact opposite of the statistics mentioned above, and I thank God for allowing me to be a daddy. Let me add, if you are one of those men who think mommy's job is easier than yours, send her on a week long vacation and you stay home and tend to the "easier" side of your marriage. I can hear you mommies shouting, "Amen!"

Typing these words begin a flow of warm memories. Happy times fill my heart and make me reflect on the mornings I poured hot maple syrup over pancakes I prepared for my three little ones. I see their faces light up and hear tiny voices shouting with joy, "Oh, look daddy, the syrup is melting the buddda!" And just like warm melting butter, my fatherly memories continue to flood in...the days that seem like yesterday when I'd tuck my precious cargo into their beds and after saying their prayers tell them to, "sleep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite!" Heartwarming memories of mornings when they would arise and come running into my bedroom pouncing on the bed shouting, "Get up daddy! It's time to make us oh'eet-meal!"

During this time, I worked on the lot at ABC Television in Hollywood. Days were spent commuting early to work, taking the afternoons off to head home so I could be there when Melissa, Andy and Kristin got home from school. I know I sacrificed my career in doing so, but there was this inner-guidance system God placed in my heart that told me this too shall pass quickly. I didn't want to miss these precious days when my kids wanted to be with me. And as they entered their teen-years, what I feared came to pass. Dad took a distant backseat to being with their "cooler" friends. That too passes, and as they have grown into happy, productive Christian adults, the bonds we made during those early years have tied a knot binding our hearts as one.

Melissa, the precious first child has given me countless moments of extreme joy, punctuated by only a few heartaches. Memories of watching her big blue eyes widen as I tossed her in the air listening to her squeals of delight when her loving daddy could be counted on to catch her fall. Remembering how she could identify just about every airplane just by the sound of its engine. On the TV screen in my heart I can still see "Missy," this precious two year old slurping a long strand of 'skettie' into her little mouth and the skettie sauce dripping from the end of her button nose. Now she too understands parenthood as she does the best she can in raising her three precious boys.

Andrew, the middle child, the quiet one, the little boy whose become a strong, peace filled Christ follower who married an angel in white. Grace is her name, and its grace she demonstrates as she lovingly cares for her patients in the Hospice career she's chosen. Kristin, my little girls who left crayon scribbled notes on my pillow when I had to edit deep into the morning hours. "Daddy, I hope you didn't work too hard! I love you! Kippy." Cherished memories that make me feel warm and fuzzy.

Lessons in character building and responsibility were the ones that hurt my heart the most. Depriving my kids of what brought them joy cut deep into my heart and, like most daddies we try to balance giving them what they want and careful we don't create a spoiled kid who demands more. One of the adjustments Andy needed to learn was taking care of his bicycle. Night after night I would find his 10-speed learning against the garage, unlocked and clearly visible to the street. "Somebody's going to steal your bike," I'd say time after time. And time, after time I would discover Andy had not heard a word I said. It became clear to me, a lesson had to be taught to a kid who got straight A's in school.

One a star-filled Los Angeles night, after tucking each one in bed, I went outside and found Andy's bike in  the exact spot he placed it each night. I knew what must be done; I tucked the bike under my arm and asked my neighbor if I could hide it in his garage for a couple days. The next morning we headed out the door to begin our day. I watched as my ten-year old son turned back to me with an expression I never want to see again. Andy's blue eyes expressed every painful emotion a little boy can communicate: shock, fear, terror and heartbreak. He began to cry and I did too because inside my heart was breaking. Fathers are there to protect their children, not cause them harm. "I'll take you to school." I said in a near whisper. We didn't say much as we rolled along in the car, Andy knew he'd been warned countless times, but the lesson for me was so painful to watch. Needless to say, a couple days later I sat down with him and explained where and why I hid his beloved bicycle. He got it. And today I see a man in his early thirties who takes great care in everything he does. But as a loving daddy, it still bruises my heart to even think about it.

Now as I enter the last quarter of my life, I wonder what kind of messages I've written on the hearts of my children. I called and asked them if I have ever made them feel unloved. Their answers brought tears to my eyes, "Oh Dad, you were always grabbing us, hugging us, tickling and telling us how great we were. I was embarrassing!" Are you that kind of daddy? If so, you're kids are counted among the lucky ones. This Father's Day, I pray your family will make daddy feel like a King, because a great dad is a God-given gift to you. Happy Father's Day everyone!

Seven Promises Every Father Must Make:

1. To respect my children's mother.
2. To keep them safe.
3. To love them unconditionally.
4. To be proud of them.
5. To spend time with them.
6. To always forgive.
7. To teach them their Heavenly Father is always there for them.

Today, Mike speaks across the nation showing the documentary he produced of the same title which features Dr. Robert S. Paul, co-president of the National Institute of Marriage, Dr. Gary Smalley, Dr. Joe White, president of Kanakuk kamps, and Dana Thomas, Executive Director of Kids Across America. Mike can be reached at 800.745.5311 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . www.daddycrisis.com

Comments  

 
0 #1 2011-01-31 20:36
Thank you for this post, I would love to have successful fathers mentor those of us who are trying to follow intheir footsteps.

I am also a single father raising 3 kids. And it is a serious job, everyday.
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